You Know Your College Sick When…..
So last night after I updated my Facebook profile to the new and ultra cool Timeline edition, I decided to take it for a spin and relive my college years. Well going through the countless posts from my past, and cringing at the thought of them ever being exposed to the outside world, I started to become a little “college sick.”
Facebook was once my friends, only for COLLEGE STUDENTS. I couldn’t even get one until I had an email address with the lovely msu.edu at the end. This is why at first we thought it was acceptable to write things like “blazing high” or “13 shots down, who wants to see my boobs!” I don’t know why they ever changed it. My grandma/mom/aunt/10 year old niece didn’t need to be exposed to what I was doing in college. They could make their own assumptions when I returned home with an alcohol problem, bruises, and my own clips on Girls Gone Wild.
“College sick” is just like being homesick. Instead of wanting to go home though, you would do anything, or kill anyone, to just get back to college. NO MOM I DON’T WANT TO GO HOME, COLLEGE IS WHERE I BELONG! NO ONE UNDERSTANDS ME LIKE THESE FREAKS DO!
My stomach hurts at the thought of it being a Wednesday night, and that all my other fellow college friends will be at Harpers downing $1 shots of cheap tequila. They will then dance on tables, make out with strangers, and then wake up on Thursday feeling like they got hit by the Cata bus.
THIS MY FRIENDS IS BEING COLLEGE SICK. Unlike when my campers would get homesick at camp, there is no one there to tell you it will be alright and you will be home soon. It’s more like:
“Grow up girl.”
“The real world sucks, WE ALL MISS COLLEGE.”
“It doesn’t get better.”
“Jesse, this is just another sign that you have developed a real alcohol problem.”
So here it is: You know your college sick when………
You know your college sick when, you go to give your cab driver 3 dollars, then he says “Miss, you still owe me 27.50”
You know your college sick when, even though your sober, at home in bed, you reply to the drunk texts/booty calls you receive on a Friday night like this “ Yeeeaas I wants to party with u!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Wheres you at? Ohz shit Im in Fmington, is tht too faaaaar for u?”
You know your college sick when, even though your sober at home in bed on a Friday night, YOU SEND OUT drunk texts/booty calls.
You know your college sick when, you start a blog bashing on living back in your boring ass hometown.
Oh wait, that’s me : )!
You know your college sick when, you start the Go Green, Go White chant everywhere you go, just to see who is worthy of being talked to.
You know your college sick when, the movie Animal House suddenly starts to make you cry.
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH WHY DID THE GOOD DAYS HAVE TO END!
The next few were written with help from my Other Missing College As Much As Me Buddys! Shouts to Julia, Liz, and Steph.
You know your college sick when, you see a full bottle of tequila and get sick to your stomach because 1) Its full, who the hell hasn’t opened that yet, and 2) Because you miss hanging with Jose every night.
You know your college sick when, you roll over in bed and reach for the beer on your night stand, and then realize there is no beer on your night stand! Who put that water there!
You know your college sick when, you Google Earth MSU’s campus thinking you can spy on the activity of everyone, to realize that they are not real time cams. Will have to live out college a different way I guess.
You know your college sick when, during a basketball/football or any MSU sporting game, you are outside of your house tailgating, by yourself. That is until the neighbors call the police on the suspicious bum drinking in their neighbor’s driveway.
